video sales are at an all time high for me!

since I started recording more clips and promoting them my video sales are at an all time high. Thank you to those who have purchased them. I’ve also noticed a connection between pregnancy and a spike in sales. If you have a pregnancy fetish feel free to check out my clip store. One more sale and I will record a new video.

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I’ll be making a couples account on Streamate soon!

Some of you have seen me on chaturbate with my cam partner, things went well that night and we both had a lot of fun so we thought we’d like to give Streamate a try with a couples account as well.

Those of you who saw us on chaturbate that night and tipped towards our show, thank you. For those who haven’t seen us on either site yet, get ready. We’ll be creating our couples account on Streamate just as soon as my cam partner is available to sign a few forms and take a couple of pictures.

It can take up to 10 days to get our account approved but hopefully it won’t take that long. You definitely won’t want to miss our shows, Just to give you an idea of what our shows are like, we really get into each other.

He actually turns me on and I enjoy him touching and kissing me. I enjoy giving him pleasure too. Once we get started it’s hard to stop. He can kiss me and get me wet which gets him hard. We may change positions often I enjoy them all with him.

He has a huge cock. He’s about 9 inches so heads up most of the time he can’t get all the way in me with out hurting me. He will start out slow and easy and gradually work his way in as deep as he can go with out hurting me. He likes to spank me sometimes too which is a turn on for me.

Once he’s in me we might get lost in the moment. We don’t want you to take offense to this we want you to enjoy it with us. We will try to keep up with requests during a private show as much as we can but if we don’t see your request right away it’s because we’re so into each other that we’re not watching the screen so much.

We can’t perform out in the open on Streamate like we can on Chaturbate so to see one of our shows on Streamate you’ll have to take us private at first but once our account qualifies for gold shows we can choose to offer gold shows or let you take us private.

No matter which option is chosen it is sure to be a great show. If you miss our show you will be missing out. We don’t have a set schedule in mind at the moment. We will have to talk about that and see what will work for us. We may not be able to work a set schedule. If this is the case we will just wing it and get on when we can.

Keep an eye on my tweets for the link to our couples account when we’re approved. I’ll tweet it once we’re approved and I’ll tweet it when we have plans to get on cam. I may tweet it periodically through out the day when ever we’ve planned in advance to get on cam.

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Renters beware

It’s not a big secret that I’ve had problems with past lanlords and property managers.  These past issues are what led me not to trust any landlord or property manager EVER.

The issues I’m having with the current management and owner of my apartment complex were caused by the property manager they just fired. In one of my previous blog posts I described the issue and what I did to remedy the issue.

Today I was called back into the rental office about 177.00 that I still don’t owe. I had to point out that I brought my rent receipts and a written statement to assist in the filing of charges on the former property manager and that they had sent it to “corporate.”

The lady in the office told me to check back with her on Monday. I’m more than happy to do that. I just want this issue settled so I can live peacefully. I don’t like notices being posted on my door to come to the office, or to vacate the premises.

Since I opened a checking account in February, I made my final payment by money order in March and as of April 1st I started paying by check. The former property manager was still here on April 1st, so even though I had a photo copy of my check dated and signed by the former property manager, I logged into my online banking and printed the check image (which clearly shows it’s been deposited.)

After all I did pay my rent in November by money order only to find out months later that the money order was altered.

The current management uses a different type of rent receipt, but I still fully intend to print the check image once the check clears in my bank and just like I did with the previous check image, I will staple it to my receipt.

Maybe I’m being unfair by not trusting the current management, but we are still dealing with the aftermath of the previous property manager and her dirty deeds. In additon to that I’ve had problems with landlords and property managers in the past as previously stated.

I’m aware a landlord can evict a tennant for habitual late payments so I make sure I pay on time, and I keep proof of payment incase they ever try to say I didn’t pay, or I paid late and owe late fees etc. This way if it ever goes to court for that reason I have proof to back up my claims, landlord/property manager makes an ass of themselves in court if they’re stupid enough to take it that far, I would win if the eviction was on the grounds of non payment of rent because I would have proof that not only did I pay, but I paid on time.

I’m not saying don’t rent an apartment, I’m saying keep records of any and all rent payments you make just to cover your ass in the event you have a dirty landlord/property manager. The former property manager knew about me camming. She knew I made a decent amount of money working only part time. Maybe she chose to screw me over because she thinks “she makes good money she can afford it.”

It sucks that someone would do this regardless of what their thought process is or their reason for doing it. It doesn’t matter if I can afford it or not. This is the kind of thing that should never happen. Unfortunately it does happen sometimes and probably more often than any of us think.

So to my fellow renters I say beware, ALWAYS GET A RECEIPT AND KEEP IT FOR YOUR RECORDS. I also strongly suggest you hide your rent receipts in a safe place where a landlord/property manager wouldn’t find them and steal them in order to fuck you over in the event they enter your apartment illegally while you’re at work.

I suggest a file cabinet with a lock, and by all meas KEEP IT LOCKED AT ALL TIMES WHEN YOU DON’T NEED TO PUT SOMETHING IN OR TAKE SOMETHING OUT. Other acceptable options are safety deposit boxes. Those are typically kept in banks and only you and certain bank staff should have a key to the safety deposit box, Or an area of your home where you wouldn’t expect someone to look for that sort of thing. In this case I would keep back up copies in a 2nd location as most landlords/property managers would only expect you to keep a single copy and would likely leave if they found one copy thinking they had your only copy.

The former property manager inadvertently screwed herself by making a photo copy of the money order and signing it in addition to me having the money order stub. She pretty much gave me all the evidence I would need to prove the altered money order was mine and I had paid my rent.

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The best things in life are free…usually

I can still remember when I lived just minutes from the beach when I was younger and flat ass broke. I remember being perfectly happy to walk to the beach and lay out in the sun on a beach towel sun bathing.

I can still remember the smell of sun tan lotions and oils in the air, the feel of the sand between my toes, and the heat of the sun beating down on my pale white body. I still remember getting burnt to a crisp and laughing about it 3 days later when the burn was a little less painful.

It didn’t cost me a single red cent to go to the beach and enjoy that hot summer day. It didn’t cost me a cent to take a dip in the water. It definitely didn’t cost me a cent to make my late husband laugh his ass off when I found a fish floating in the swimming area and immediately swam to shore and refused to ever set foot in that lake again!

I was 18 yrs old and high on life. I had the world by the balls (or so I thought) and I loved hanging out at the beach and sitting outside in the evenings watching the sun set.

I miss those days. I haven’t done that in a long time. I should take the time to do it again one day this summer.

I’ve found myself wondering lately what are some of the best things other people enjoyed when they were younger? do they still enjoy those activities? do they look back on those memories fondly?

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Seriously? Grow the fuck up! This is why I don’t have a lot of female friends!

I was talking with someone on twitter today and he was explaining that he has more female friends than guy friends and I told him I have more guy friends than female friends.

He wondered why so I explained it to him. I generally don’t get along with other females because they have a tendency to be jealous and insecure. The second they get a boyfriend they start thinking I’m after their man.

I have ended friendships with guys I’ve known over 20 years because of jealous insecure females.  I have also ended friendships with females I’ve known for over 20 years because the minute they get a boyfriend they think I want the guy they’re with and start making threats.

I have never had the patience to deal with someone who threatens me. That is a very quick way to end a friendship with me.

I’ve had friends on social media that I’ve known for a long time who got involved with a girl and then that girl turned out to be very insecure and jealous. One of these females went through my friend’s cell phone. His social media was linked to it.

She demanded to know why I was texting her boyfriend and told me they were in a relationship and never to talk to her boyfriend again. Ummm excuse me honey, but I am not after your boyfriend! I’ve known him for a long time and if I wanted him I could have made my move before you came along! Remember when you announced your engagement? I was one of the ones who congratulated your dumb ass!

Once you start threatening me there is nothing left to talk about. All you do is make yourself look really stupid, you come off as jealous, insecure, and even a little bit crazy. If you actually trust the person you are with then there is no need for all that bullshit. If you don’t trust the person you are with then you really have no business being with them period.

Jealousy and insecurity can kill a relationship with a quickness. Most guys I know don’t find that very attractive at all and they do not like to be controlled. Keep talking shit about other females and threatening them if you want to. Keep trying to control who your guy can and can’t be friends with by all means go right ahead and see how fast you lose your guy.

There was one girl who even called me ugly. I was about to die laughing. Generally when a female is trying to end your friendship with her guy and calls you ugly it’s because she’s insecure, she thinks you’re prettier than her, and she’s jealous. I know damn well I’m not ugly. I’m not cocky, I’m confident.

I don’t give two fucks what another female thinks of me. Chances are I wouldn’t get her honest oppinion anyway.

I also really hate those fake bitches that smile in your face and talk shit about you behind your back. If you like me you like me if you don’t then you don’t. I personally don’t care either way so no need to be fake.

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In my last blog post I mentioned that a notice to vacate the premises citing non payment of rent was put on my door the other day. It had the correct first name and the wrong last name so I thought it was put on my door by mistake.

I paid my rent today and found out that it was intended for me and that my last name was just misspelled. I had to go get all of my old rent reciepts and prove that I had infact paid my rent in full and on time.

I was paying by money order and thank God I was. I had the money order reciept, a signed reciept from the prior property manager for most of the months I paid. The only ones I don’t have a signed reciept for are the times I put the rent in the office mail drop because nobody was in the office.

I had to go over all of my old rent reciepts and money order reciepts/stubs to prove I paid. It turns out the previous property manager took my rent for November and left the name of the apartment complex but whited everything else out and put someone else’s name and apartment number on it.

Thank God I don’t trust property managers and I keep ALL written communications from them as well as ALL rent reciepts. Had they tried to take me to court and evict me I would have had them by the balls. That would have made them look incredibly stupid.

Thankfully the new management listened when I told them I paid and they asked me to get my old rent reciepts so we could sit down and figure this out. In the process of doing that not only did we find that the previous property manager took my money order for Novemeber and whited out everything but the apartment complex name (whom it was made out to) and put someone else’s information on it we also found where she took someone elses money order for 175.00 and filled it out for them and put my information on it.

By the management records it looked I owed 330.00 in back rent but by my own records it was obvious I didn’t owe anything. I’m just stunned that someone would do such a thing knowing that it could result in an eviction had I thrown away that reciept instead of keeping it.

I’m not very happy about finding this out but the lady that did it no longer works as a property manager. I honestly hope they press charges. As far as I know you can’t alter a money order it’s illegal. This definitely looks like fraud from my perspective.

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Nice try property manager!

I heard someone fooling around outside my door a few minutes ago. I opened the door to find a notice to vacate the premises on or before May 1st for non payment of rent. I paid my rent last month and I have proof that I paid and it was on time.

I brought it right back to the office and told them it was delivered to the wrong apartment. It had the right first name but the wrong last name which I saw on the way to the office. However since there is new management here I do not trust them.

I fully expect to be harassed and forced out. I am going to start preparing to move now so I don’t have to worry about it. I’ve lived here for 13 months now almost 14 months and I have always paid on time.

I have always kept proof of payment. If they want a fight they picked the wrong girl to fool with. I will destroy them in court if they try anything at all.

I have always had bad experiences with new management so I’m going to hope for the best and prepare for the worst. The last thing I need is to be evicted again.

Obviously I have major trust issues with property managers. They’ve brought it on themselves though. One of them was crazy and harassed me, another one thought she was slick and could get me out before my lease was up and got beat at her own game.

Now these people put a notice to vacate on the wrong door and I’m just sitting back thinking it won’t be long until they start playing games with me.

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new puppy means sleep deprivation

I got a puppy after my husband passed away. He’s great but he likes to play at night when he should be going to sleep. He also likes to whine every hour or two to go outside when I make him sleep in the crate.

I was letting him sleep in the bed with me but now he’s big enough and smart enough to jump down on his own. The crate seems to be the only way I can keep him from going potty in the house!

He’s been particularly stubborn when it comes to taking him out to potty. Most dogs will start to get the idea in just a few days. This one, not so much. He learned how to climb out of an open top crate.

I finally flattened out some card board boxes and put them around and on top of the crate and taped them up. Hopefully he won’t be able to get out of that other wise I’m gonna have to keep dealing with him having accidents and chewing things he shouldn’t be chewing until I can get a new crate.

Taking him for long walks is helpful because it tires him out which keeps him from chewing everything and going potty everywhere. If I can keep him the crate when I’m not playing with him or walking him then he’ll start making the connection and will house train more easily.

In the mean time the constant howling is not only annoying but it keeps me up at night or constantly wakes me up.

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How do I keep going?

I don’t really know how to say this. I don’t even want to say it. The more I talk about it the more real it becomes and I don’t want it to be real.

I lost my husband to an asthma attack. He had the asthma attack on March 3rd, I gave him his rescue inhaler, I gave him 2 breathing treatments and had him use the rescue inhaler again before he finally let me call 911.

It took what seemed like forever for the ambulance to get here. I saw the lights before I saw the ambulance and I bolted out the door to flag them down. My husband stopped breathing about 10 seconds after they walked in and started to examine him.

They carried him out to the ambulance where his heart stopped. They were giving him CPR for a long time when the fire truck finally came. One of the fire fighters got in the ambulance to assist with intibation.

I thought for sure he’d be alright once he got to the hospital and got the medicine he needed but he wasn’t. I called to check on him and was told that he was in very critical condition and I needed to be there.

I got a ride from a neighbor that knew him. I stayed by his side until 7 am when I left to get a couple hours of sleep and a shower. I never got my shower. I got a call from the hospital that he was no longer breathing on his own over the ventilator and I needed to come back.

I raced back to the hospital to be with him. I held his hand and begged him to fight. His brain was swollen and had started to herniate. A lot of people were praying for him but his brain continued to swell and herniate until there was nothing left.

The doctors wanted me to take him off life support because they felt he was already gone. I wouldn’t do it until I had scientific proof that he was never coming back.

I still held on to give the rest of our family time to say good bye.  During that time he started having tremors. The first 2 I yelled at him and told him to stop it and he did.

He continued to have these tremors and I held his hand and rubbed his arm. I told him it was ok, I was there and I wasn’t going anywhere. Every time I did that the tremor would stop. He still continued to have them though and they got more and more violent and more and more frequent.

I was getting more upset with each tremor he had. Finally the nurses pulled me aside because I was screaming and crying. They said he was in fact brain dead and he was not coming back and this was too hard for me to watch. I knew they were right and finally allowed them to disconnect the ventilator.

He was gone in less than 1 minute and he squeezed my hand twice as he went. I can still feel him all around me. I think he’s hanging around to make sure I’ll be ok before he goes where he’s supposed to.


I snapped this picture of him one night while he was sleeping. Oh if he knew I did that he’d be so pissed! I’m just glad I have the picture. I’m greatful for the 10 yrs we had together. I just wish I could have done more to help him when he had the asthma attack. I wish I could have saved him. 

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I’m finally free (I think) how to stop a stalker

After being stalked, harassed, and threatened for 7 years I am finally free. My stalker is not dead or in jail but he finally got the message that I am just not interested.

He attempted to contact me a couple of days ago from yet another phone number which I promptly blocked. A little while later I got a voice mail saying I won’t hear from him again and scratch him out like he was never there.

Of course I wonder if it’s really true that he’s finally gotten the message but based on that voice mail it certainly seems that way.

Unfortunately after going through hell for the last 7 yrs I will never let my guard down, not even for a second. It does feel good to think I might finally be free from the stalking, harassment, and threats. Only time will tell if I’m truly free or not.

I definitely wish that I hadn’t had to go through this but it has allowed me to learn some things that I would not have had the opportunity to learn otherwise. For example there are different classifications of stalkers and they all have different motivations.

Some stalkers will have a sexual motivation, others will be motivated by vengeance if they feel you wronged them somehow, others may believe you are in love with them even if you’ve never had any contact with them.

There are so many things that could motivate a stalker that they are too numerous to list. Some stalkers will eventually give up if you ignore them long enough, others are far more dangerous.

I personally believe that a single stalker can fall into more than one classification of stalkers. I believe mine did. How you deal with a stalker really depends on their motivation for stalking you which also determines the classification of the stalker.

Sometimes it’s as simple as changing your phone number, other times you have to weed out snakes that will give your new number to a stalker. Sometimes there are multiple snakes and the best thing to do is to change your private number and get something like google voice to block every number the stalker contacts you from.

Sometimes you may have to move out of the county like I did, Others may be more determined and you will have to move out of the state. More often than not in cases of stalking the police are not very helpful because stalking is very hard to prove.

My own stalker was caught in the act by police twice and yet it was swept under the rug as if nothing happened. It’s more likely this will be the case if you are involved in any part of the adult industry what so ever. If the police see you as the “wholesome” type they will be more willing to help you. If they see you as less than “wholesome” they will bend over backwards to help the stalker stalk you.

Regardless of whether or not you are any part of the adult industry you still have the right to be safe. You still have the right to live your life free of stalkers. When the police refuse to do their jobs, get a webcam. Place the webcam in a position so it captures your parking lot.

Also make sure it captures at least part of your street if possible. Or if you’re in a house make sure it captures both your driveway and part of your street, set to record. When you capture your stalker driving up and down your street or around your block more than twice in 8 hours you have the stalker by the balls.

Make sure to record  for at least 45 minutes after you’ve caught your stalker on camera to see how many times they drive up and down your street or around your block in that time frame. Put it on a DVD and make at least 5 back up copies. If you are in the adult industry in any way shape or form the police will take your complaint and throw it in the trash along with any evidence you hand them.

You may need to go up the chain of command possibly even to the attorney general to get something done about it so always keep back up evidence of everything. If you have access to your call logs you can print them as well as write them down. Take pictures of the phone number displayed on your phone as the call comes in.

write down any text messages you receive from your stalker, take pictures of those text messages, make 15 to 20 photo copies of any and all hand written call logs from your stalker.

Keep a digital camera in your car at all times while driving. Make sure it records video. Keep the camera on and recording any time you are driving. Tape it to your back window, if need be, get a second and a third camera and tape them to passenger windows in the back seat. This will capture the stalker following you when you drive.

Make at least 5 DVD copies of it and mark every DVD clearly with the date and the time frames, do this for your webcam videos too. If you hand over evidence and get no where then go up the chain of command and make new DVDs of each item when you see you have 3 or less left. ALWAYS KEEP BACK UP EVIDENCE.

You can bet your stalker WILL point out your involvement in the adult industry to save their own ass. This is why you need so much back up evidence. You may even have to get an advocate to go with you and force the police to do their jobs. If your stalker does not have a sexual motivation you may not be able to get help from an advocate through the rape crisis center but you could potentially sue the police.

Call around talk to some attorneys. Most of the time they will not take the case on a contingency fee kind of thing, so make sure you have some money to pay the attorney. It’s money well spent if you can get your life back with out going through it for 7 yrs like I did.

If your stalker comes on a cam site and uses their email system to harass and/or threaten you print it. Print at least 10 copies preferably 20. DO NOT tell your stalker you are doing this. It could escalate the situation or the stalker could start saying things to make it look like you are doing something illegal.

This is nothing more than a desperate attempt to save their own ass but why encourage it? It’s actually best if you just don’t reply to your stalker at all not even on the cam site email system. You should block the stalker once you’ve identified that it is in fact your stalker using a screen name on your cam site.

Keep plenty of ink for your printer. If your stalker is anything like mine you will get hundreds of emails on the cam site, hundreds if not thousands of text messages, and with out a doubt hundreds of thousands of calls to any phone number the stalker has for you.

Do not answer the stalker’s calls, texts,emails, or camsite emails once you know it’s the stalker. Rest assured the stalker will create a new screen name and come back on the cam site to harass you. Sometimes your stalker will try to pretend to be someone else to trick you into a response, Other times your stalker will be more direct and pissed off because you blocked them.

Know that any legal proceedings will be messy and expensive. Your stalker will try their damnedest to trash you to  the judge and if one is present the jury. This is once again a desperate attempt by the stalker to save their own ass and unfortunately is inevitable in the court room.

Make sure your stalker doesn’t have any dirty cops in their back pocket. Your attorney may be able to help you here, If not be ready for a huge bill from a private investigator because you will need one.

If you are able to determine that your stalker is paying off dirty cops (has dirty cops in their back pocket) then you can introduce this evidence in court which will not only surely get your stalker convicted (if it’s criminal instead of civil) it will also launch an investigation into that police department and ruin the careers of the dirty cops and hopefully their lives too.

When all is said and done keep one camera in your car at all times, especially if any cops lost their jobs and/or are facing jail time for the corruption because the cops will be pissed and they will harass you.

Take video of you going to your car, starting the car, checking for the light over the license plate particularly at night for this one, keep the video on your speedometer so you have proof that you are not speeding, also make sure before you take off to turn on your headlights and take video to prove that they are working, take video underneath your car before you leave too this way if you have no fluids leaking before you leave and you do after coming back to your car and driving home you can prove it with the video you take when you get home.

Continue to keep a webcam focused on your car, parking lot/drive way, and part of the street so if anyone comes by and sabotages your car you will have evidence. Trust me dirty cops will do this they’ve done it to me before. They have disconnected the light over my license plate so they could have an excuse to pull me over.

Always check everything before you get in your car and drive. Even if you just went to the grocery store and were only gone 2 minutes, check everything before you pull out of that parking space. If anything was working when you left and wasn’t when you got back you most likely have a case of sabotage. Have the car towed home and get it fixed before you drive again.

This will take away the validity of traffic stops for “license plate not illuminated” or “brake lights not working” also check your brakes before you pull out of any parking space. If your brakes were fine before you left and when you get back in the car they suddenly aren’t fine you most likely have a case of sabotage.

If you have a garage use it. This will help prevent stalkers and/or dirty/pissed off cops from having access to your vehicle while you sleep at night.

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