After being stalked, harassed, and threatened for 7 years I am finally free. My stalker is not dead or in jail but he finally got the message that I am just not interested.
He attempted to contact me a couple of days ago from yet another phone number which I promptly blocked. A little while later I got a voice mail saying I won’t hear from him again and scratch him out like he was never there.
Of course I wonder if it’s really true that he’s finally gotten the message but based on that voice mail it certainly seems that way.
Unfortunately after going through hell for the last 7 yrs I will never let my guard down, not even for a second. It does feel good to think I might finally be free from the stalking, harassment, and threats. Only time will tell if I’m truly free or not.
I definitely wish that I hadn’t had to go through this but it has allowed me to learn some things that I would not have had the opportunity to learn otherwise. For example there are different classifications of stalkers and they all have different motivations.
Some stalkers will have a sexual motivation, others will be motivated by vengeance if they feel you wronged them somehow, others may believe you are in love with them even if you’ve never had any contact with them.
There are so many things that could motivate a stalker that they are too numerous to list. Some stalkers will eventually give up if you ignore them long enough, others are far more dangerous.
I personally believe that a single stalker can fall into more than one classification of stalkers. I believe mine did. How you deal with a stalker really depends on their motivation for stalking you which also determines the classification of the stalker.
Sometimes it’s as simple as changing your phone number, other times you have to weed out snakes that will give your new number to a stalker. Sometimes there are multiple snakes and the best thing to do is to change your private number and get something like google voice to block every number the stalker contacts you from.
Sometimes you may have to move out of the county like I did, Others may be more determined and you will have to move out of the state. More often than not in cases of stalking the police are not very helpful because stalking is very hard to prove.
My own stalker was caught in the act by police twice and yet it was swept under the rug as if nothing happened. It’s more likely this will be the case if you are involved in any part of the adult industry what so ever. If the police see you as the “wholesome” type they will be more willing to help you. If they see you as less than “wholesome” they will bend over backwards to help the stalker stalk you.
Regardless of whether or not you are any part of the adult industry you still have the right to be safe. You still have the right to live your life free of stalkers. When the police refuse to do their jobs, get a webcam. Place the webcam in a position so it captures your parking lot.
Also make sure it captures at least part of your street if possible. Or if you’re in a house make sure it captures both your driveway and part of your street, set to record. When you capture your stalker driving up and down your street or around your block more than twice in 8 hours you have the stalker by the balls.
Make sure to record for at least 45 minutes after you’ve caught your stalker on camera to see how many times they drive up and down your street or around your block in that time frame. Put it on a DVD and make at least 5 back up copies. If you are in the adult industry in any way shape or form the police will take your complaint and throw it in the trash along with any evidence you hand them.
You may need to go up the chain of command possibly even to the attorney general to get something done about it so always keep back up evidence of everything. If you have access to your call logs you can print them as well as write them down. Take pictures of the phone number displayed on your phone as the call comes in.
write down any text messages you receive from your stalker, take pictures of those text messages, make 15 to 20 photo copies of any and all hand written call logs from your stalker.
Keep a digital camera in your car at all times while driving. Make sure it records video. Keep the camera on and recording any time you are driving. Tape it to your back window, if need be, get a second and a third camera and tape them to passenger windows in the back seat. This will capture the stalker following you when you drive.
Make at least 5 DVD copies of it and mark every DVD clearly with the date and the time frames, do this for your webcam videos too. If you hand over evidence and get no where then go up the chain of command and make new DVDs of each item when you see you have 3 or less left. ALWAYS KEEP BACK UP EVIDENCE.
You can bet your stalker WILL point out your involvement in the adult industry to save their own ass. This is why you need so much back up evidence. You may even have to get an advocate to go with you and force the police to do their jobs. If your stalker does not have a sexual motivation you may not be able to get help from an advocate through the rape crisis center but you could potentially sue the police.
Call around talk to some attorneys. Most of the time they will not take the case on a contingency fee kind of thing, so make sure you have some money to pay the attorney. It’s money well spent if you can get your life back with out going through it for 7 yrs like I did.
If your stalker comes on a cam site and uses their email system to harass and/or threaten you print it. Print at least 10 copies preferably 20. DO NOT tell your stalker you are doing this. It could escalate the situation or the stalker could start saying things to make it look like you are doing something illegal.
This is nothing more than a desperate attempt to save their own ass but why encourage it? It’s actually best if you just don’t reply to your stalker at all not even on the cam site email system. You should block the stalker once you’ve identified that it is in fact your stalker using a screen name on your cam site.
Keep plenty of ink for your printer. If your stalker is anything like mine you will get hundreds of emails on the cam site, hundreds if not thousands of text messages, and with out a doubt hundreds of thousands of calls to any phone number the stalker has for you.
Do not answer the stalker’s calls, texts,emails, or camsite emails once you know it’s the stalker. Rest assured the stalker will create a new screen name and come back on the cam site to harass you. Sometimes your stalker will try to pretend to be someone else to trick you into a response, Other times your stalker will be more direct and pissed off because you blocked them.
Know that any legal proceedings will be messy and expensive. Your stalker will try their damnedest to trash you to the judge and if one is present the jury. This is once again a desperate attempt by the stalker to save their own ass and unfortunately is inevitable in the court room.
Make sure your stalker doesn’t have any dirty cops in their back pocket. Your attorney may be able to help you here, If not be ready for a huge bill from a private investigator because you will need one.
If you are able to determine that your stalker is paying off dirty cops (has dirty cops in their back pocket) then you can introduce this evidence in court which will not only surely get your stalker convicted (if it’s criminal instead of civil) it will also launch an investigation into that police department and ruin the careers of the dirty cops and hopefully their lives too.
When all is said and done keep one camera in your car at all times, especially if any cops lost their jobs and/or are facing jail time for the corruption because the cops will be pissed and they will harass you.
Take video of you going to your car, starting the car, checking for the light over the license plate particularly at night for this one, keep the video on your speedometer so you have proof that you are not speeding, also make sure before you take off to turn on your headlights and take video to prove that they are working, take video underneath your car before you leave too this way if you have no fluids leaking before you leave and you do after coming back to your car and driving home you can prove it with the video you take when you get home.
Continue to keep a webcam focused on your car, parking lot/drive way, and part of the street so if anyone comes by and sabotages your car you will have evidence. Trust me dirty cops will do this they’ve done it to me before. They have disconnected the light over my license plate so they could have an excuse to pull me over.
Always check everything before you get in your car and drive. Even if you just went to the grocery store and were only gone 2 minutes, check everything before you pull out of that parking space. If anything was working when you left and wasn’t when you got back you most likely have a case of sabotage. Have the car towed home and get it fixed before you drive again.
This will take away the validity of traffic stops for “license plate not illuminated” or “brake lights not working” also check your brakes before you pull out of any parking space. If your brakes were fine before you left and when you get back in the car they suddenly aren’t fine you most likely have a case of sabotage.
If you have a garage use it. This will help prevent stalkers and/or dirty/pissed off cops from having access to your vehicle while you sleep at night.