I don’t really know how to say this. I don’t even want to say it. The more I talk about it the more real it becomes and I don’t want it to be real.
I lost my husband to an asthma attack. He had the asthma attack on March 3rd, I gave him his rescue inhaler, I gave him 2 breathing treatments and had him use the rescue inhaler again before he finally let me call 911.
It took what seemed like forever for the ambulance to get here. I saw the lights before I saw the ambulance and I bolted out the door to flag them down. My husband stopped breathing about 10 seconds after they walked in and started to examine him.
They carried him out to the ambulance where his heart stopped. They were giving him CPR for a long time when the fire truck finally came. One of the fire fighters got in the ambulance to assist with intibation.
I thought for sure he’d be alright once he got to the hospital and got the medicine he needed but he wasn’t. I called to check on him and was told that he was in very critical condition and I needed to be there.
I got a ride from a neighbor that knew him. I stayed by his side until 7 am when I left to get a couple hours of sleep and a shower. I never got my shower. I got a call from the hospital that he was no longer breathing on his own over the ventilator and I needed to come back.
I raced back to the hospital to be with him. I held his hand and begged him to fight. His brain was swollen and had started to herniate. A lot of people were praying for him but his brain continued to swell and herniate until there was nothing left.
The doctors wanted me to take him off life support because they felt he was already gone. I wouldn’t do it until I had scientific proof that he was never coming back.
I still held on to give the rest of our family time to say good bye. During that time he started having tremors. The first 2 I yelled at him and told him to stop it and he did.
He continued to have these tremors and I held his hand and rubbed his arm. I told him it was ok, I was there and I wasn’t going anywhere. Every time I did that the tremor would stop. He still continued to have them though and they got more and more violent and more and more frequent.
I was getting more upset with each tremor he had. Finally the nurses pulled me aside because I was screaming and crying. They said he was in fact brain dead and he was not coming back and this was too hard for me to watch. I knew they were right and finally allowed them to disconnect the ventilator.
He was gone in less than 1 minute and he squeezed my hand twice as he went. I can still feel him all around me. I think he’s hanging around to make sure I’ll be ok before he goes where he’s supposed to.
I snapped this picture of him one night while he was sleeping. Oh if he knew I did that he’d be so pissed! I’m just glad I have the picture. I’m greatful for the 10 yrs we had together. I just wish I could have done more to help him when he had the asthma attack. I wish I could have saved him.